Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who received it.

Karl Menninger

Receiving a loving hug from a parent or perhaps a smile from a friend or even a stranger gives us a special feeling inside. We know that we are important to others, when they show us their love through attention. We sometimes forget that we matter to others. Family members and friends feel good in the same way, when we show them our love.Everyone needs to be loved.

How can we show our love? Must it be through a hug? Doing a favor for someone is loving. Helping around the house or the yard is loving, particularly when we have volunteered our help. Giving an unexpected gift to a friend is a way of showing love. Showing others we care, even when they are angry, is perhaps the nicest of all expressions of love.

"There is no total answer"

Studying and reading are traditional methods of growth.
With a life long routine of study each day,
a person or couple grows under the guidance of the sages.

Civilization exists,
because each generation builds upon the progress of the past.
We do not have to re-invent the wheel.
After we learn from those who have gone before,
we may even discover and create beyond the point,
where they left off.

But if we are in a willful, defiant mood,
we may say:
"I have to find my own way.
I don't feel like learning from anyone."
Our individualism then becomes a half-truth,
silently trapping us in problems others have found answers to.

There is no total answer,
no total freedom,
but only continued growth.
Daily reading, openness to learn from others,
and study of how they faced their most challenging questions,
will bring us progress.

i am tired,
tired of my never ending thesis writing.
it made me crazy to write those few chapters...

i am tired,
tired of programming.
its like a never ending story...

i am tired,
tired of trying to forget,
the more i try to forget, the more i think of it!

i am tired,
tired of staying away,
the more i don't want to care, the more it appears in my mind!

i am tired,
tired of myself.

i need rest,
rest from everything,
R.I.P may be? haha, i am getting more crazy...

i'll be away,
away from this virtual world,
to settle some other things back at home.

dear all,
i'll be away from 1.5.2010 to 8.5.2010
and will not online for that period.
please do not hesitate to sms/call me for any urgent matters.
will be back as usual after that. hopefully. haha..

today,
my whole family appeared infront of my house!
they came all the way to Melaka to visit me,
to make sure i am fine.
even my aunt and uncle, cousins came!

mom brought some prayer items.
"its for your protection" she said.

they spent whole day with me.
mom gave me some "lecturing" sessions,
which was really needed for me.
haha.

before they leave,
mom said:
"pray more, your time is not good now,
we will pray for you too"

what a wonderful day!

recently i planned to move to my friends house.
so i called my mom and told her about my plan.
she said she will ask the hindu samy at my house to pray for me.

the samy called.
he said 25th Apr will be suitable to move in.
i asked him to check my time, whether i'll face any problems in near future.
well, i am not too superstitious, yet i always refer him as guidance

he called again
"you need to be more careful mixing around your friends" he said.
i asked why
"there are some of your friends actually hating you and boycotting you,
you just don't realize it because they are so nice infront of you.
but they actually said bad things behind you!
i saw a few figures in my prayers"
he answered me.

but i think i never did anything so bad until it made others hates me!
"you never knew what people think bout you" he said again.
so should i continue my plan to move to new house?
"u can, but i advice not to.
according to your horoscope, moving to new place now is not good
don't worry, i'll continue to pray for you." he told me again.

OMG! i cant believe it! then who should i trust?
his reply was simple:"GOD"

sad, i was soooo sad.
i never knew there are peoples pretending to be normal infront of me
but actually silently boycotting and hating me behind.
actually the samy can figure out who they are and give me clues,
but i prefer not to. it will made me even more sad if i know who they are!

suddenly,
i felt so lonely and alone.
i don't know who should i trust now.
there are fake people acting around me.
and for the first time in my life,
i cried.
i cried for something not related to family matters.

well, it might be my fault.
may be i did something that made them hating me.
i am extremely sorry for that.
i never realized i did something that hurts you guys.
i am a normal human being, an imperfect normal human being after all.
i don't blame them for hating me,
and i'll accept it as a payback for what i had done.
i'll be more happy if at least those people can directly tell me what i had done wrong to them.

well, i decided to be in inactive mode for sometime.
keeping myself away from everything.
please do forgive me if i didn't respond to you guys.
i think i'll need some time to be normal.

and lastly, i am extremely sorry to them.
i know they don't choose to hate me unless i did something bad.
i promise i'll change, if they willing to tell me what should i change,
at least better then leaving me to continue the same mistakes again and again...